My grandpa lost his mother, father, and all five of his siblings by 1989. He has so far outlived his wife, 3 children (the youngest and two oldest), as well as many other family and friends, too many to list, along his 87 years here. He never once shed a tear at any funeral except at his soul mate’s funeral as their over 50-year multi-book biography series of a story of love comes to an ending.
As another book was written and came to an end, one in which I call “The stroke who raped my grandpa and stole his speech leaving him paralyzed: (*NOTE this part is specifically for my Educational Psychology Child Development and Learning 305B–hint–this is a taste to what’s to come in the textbook) “How one man’s cree-Irish brains cerebrum and Broca’s area’s left sides lost its connection to the corpus callosum. Thankfully his Wernicke’s and Broca’s areas are holding on by supporting threads called his Acute fasciculus that help him understand language and its concepts. His motor cortex is lost from the too many words he spoke during the first 85-years. He defied what was humanly possible to talk in one lifetime, so his own biology finally cut him off.”
I do know one thing, though—he is not frightened. He would be having solutions not following the road of problems.
In 1941, my grandpa and his friend were climbing too deep into an abandoned coal mine. They were so far into the cave that when it began to collapse, it was pitch black, and they had no sense if they were even running in the right direction.
My grandma that same year had her first memory in which she never forgot. My grandma, her sister and mom lay asleep late into the midnight hours under the skies of England. They were first awakened by the emergency sirens followed by the bombs the Germans were dropping above the clouds by an invention called the zeppelin.
Zeppelins are floated by expanding air inside a giant balloon-like structure. It can become buoyant. Similar to how a submarine floats deep into the abyss under extreme pressures, it can float lazily as the zeppelin does, like a whale taking a nap in the sky. My family would run out of the secure military building they were trying to hide in. The game was over as they were found as they literally ran for their lives. With milliseconds to spare, they would make it all out alive. They were taken a right to a ship and sent to Canada.
My grandma and grandpa both would realize something when they were in the first years of their lives, that after their near-death experiences that after that, there is nothing to fear in this life as long as you are still breathing.
What’s on the other end of Fear? —Nothing
Since 2010 I have lost over 30 friends and family members. 5 would pass away last year alone. As of the start of this semester, 2 weeks ago, my grandpa developed pneumonia in the hospital with possible COVID exposure. My stepbrother went on a suicide mission after his pregnant girlfriend lost her life.
I don’t say those things for sympathy. I say those things because life happens, which is sometimes out of my control. If I dwell and make others feel bad, we won’t move forward. We will sink into the portal of anxieties and depressions, which always leads to paralysis. When you’re stuck, and you think you can’t move—just trying going for a run for 20 minutes, come back tell me you can’t move still.
To be a true stoic, I will remember those who have left this lifetime but carrying forward the significant aspects that helped shape who I am today. To pick up and move along the best way I know how to carry on and never forget how and why I am here.
I just remembered the only other time I have seen my grandpa shed a tear was when I read him a letter. I wrote to him for his 80th birthday. It explained how one day, as he inspired me to do great things, I would do great things in his name.
Stoically, like my grandma and grandpa would want to see, in honour of my great-grandpa, a Nazi hunter for Great Britain, he tried to defend against those to flatten the city’s infrastructure in which he grew up. He would lose his life at 26-years under Hitlers’ methamphetamine filled Nazi soldiers’ veins.
Some days under the hypnosis of deep meditation and laser-focused introspection, I feel some days he chose me as his reincarnation for this generation. Strategically waiting for the right time in a place, after exploring every corner of the galaxy, he returned to this universe to return to earth’s collective consciousness. To guide me, to lead and educate, letting go and showing how to push forward. Months before being born, my mother had a reoccurring dream every night until I was born. The goal was someone in a war that was continuous each night, seeing new images through a soldier’s eyes. That soldier would die in that war, and then I was born. I was born in Red Deer, Alberta. It was 8:06 pm. I was born into an insane blizzard that there was a blackout in the city as soon as I arrived. My nana couldn’t call anyone until the morning.
The following morning my other grandma was pleasantly surprised her son neglected to tell someone who works at the hospital that he had impregnated my mother, and she had just found out she just became a Grandma!
Oh, I’m sorry, did you really think I would end there? Mother Fucker! My story is just about to begin.
Edward Brennan in WWII – I’d say RIP, but it’s me talking to myself, and I am glad we worked through getting shot in the leg then later when the explosion sent me into orbit. It was a matter of time before I would come back. I took 3 generations off to sharpen the only life skills left to evolve to its highest potential. As this body holds the recycled soul of thousands of generations dating back millennia, it has evolved from the dust leftover from many dead exploded exo-planets that blew consciousness through the black hole in hopes to find evolution—somewhere.
“I am not here to build a business; I am not here to build a corporation; I am not here to build Schools; I am not here to build churches—I am no Mother Theresa.
What I will do is—lead a legacy.”
– Dean Mathers