A Death and a Re-Birth

It is time to grow up and to start to treat these god like substances for the powerful medicinal helpful mental healing beings that they are. They should be in a class of their own, above all other drugs, not only including but especially—pharmaceuticals (hopefully soon they will be a pharmaceutical). They are by far the mightiest of all chemicals that produce such life changing experience for so little side effects. One experience can literally last a lifetime, and what other drug can be that beneficial for that long of a time? Here is a time in which things took a turn for the worst:

I got these psilocybin mushrooms that were ground up over time into powder. They were older and just the bottom of what would have been a huge bag of mushrooms. I got them free through a friend who was my friends gymnastic boss, and best friends with my uncle’s girlfriend at the time. With a big smile on my face I brought them out to my buddies place who lived in a trailer on his parents land out in the country. Upon my arrival I made us this massive pot of mushroom tea, I underestimated the amount of mushrooms that were in that ground up powder. We started to drink the tea as we started watching Alice in Wonderland, which was the newer one with Jonny Depp (For those who don’t know—the author of the book Alice in Wonderland was Lewis Carroll and he was literally tripping all day every day. He had a rare disorder where he seen things like people under the influence of a very powerful psychedelics. It would later be called: Alice in Wonderland disorder).

Anyway, you knew you were in for a good trip when the effects set in—in less than twenty minutes. I recall feeling like I was melting on that clear August night, it was so hot in that little trailer. I remember we kept believing his dad was coming over, so we would hide, and we were trying to be very quiet and sneaky. It wasn’t long again before I felt the melting feeling and I knew my buddy was on the same spectrum, as I could feel his feeling and I knew his thoughts all of which were scared as fuck. It was about an hour or two in did I immediately regret using that much mushrooms. I legitimately was as or more scared as the first time I tried them at 16 at the grad party. I sat by a tree for over 3 hours and did not talk to anyone, as I stared into the fire thinking it was the only safe place. I was on the same property that night as this experience because it was my friends’ sister’s grad, and it was on their farmland.

I was tripping so hard I recall I felt like Jonny Depp was trying to freak us out while my friend and I were holding hands dancing around in a circle. Soon after, I found myself sitting on the crapper thinking my body was melting into the toilet. I don’t think I even took a piss that night. The mushrooms turned on me and the more I tried to fight back to sobriety, the harder I tripped of my fucking rocker. I was at the point of no return and it felt like we were never coming back from that trip. The last thing I remember before shutting my eyes on that couch was: accepting the fact that I was about to die. I think I went through all the emotions attached with grieve with losing the battle of life.  I woke up at 7am the next morning and went to work that Sunday, then playing baseball that afternoon. I would not touch mushrooms for almost 3 to 4 years after that transformative experience.

Mushroom dissolve ego and it makes you become ultra-introspective, so if you are dealing with any mental issues I would recommend you not take any psychedelics. Especially to those who have schizophrenia in your family, as you have the potential to develop the symptoms for schizophrenia in a short-time. Also, they are not meant to be taken with any other substances—especially alcohol. One should never take them if you are not in a good head space and for your own safety always have a babysitter. A babysitter is someone who stays sober and can help talk you into a good place. Better yet—you should never take them at all unless you are guided by a shaman who specializes in that area.

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